the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
