I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
