did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
