i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
