today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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