Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
her vagine was all disorganized.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
