Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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