Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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