Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is Oprah even human
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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