I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
