You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
