tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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