I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
