sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
