Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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