you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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