Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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