did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
