So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
