I puked a lego.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
