So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
