My nipple is on Facebook.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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