i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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