honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
