The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
