Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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