Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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