So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
