why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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