remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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