Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
