capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
