Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
