i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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