Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
