honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
