im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
