he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
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I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
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he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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