Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
