As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
