dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
