So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
