I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
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Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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