you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
