When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
