Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i wish my penis had a tongue
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
