Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
