yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
