You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
