Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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