break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
