what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize