carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
