I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
