I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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