I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dignity is for republicans.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
