Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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