Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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