flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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