I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
