Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
