After last night, I could never be a politician.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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