I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
