piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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