Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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