dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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