He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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