new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize