Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
