That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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