tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
