while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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