he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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